THERAPY FOR HIGH ACHIEVERS

Disconnection from emotions:​

Often, people in intense, demanding fields are comfortable thinking logically and solving problems. In other words, they're great intellectualizers! And we love our inner intellectualizers and taskmasters, because they motivate us toward greatness and help us succeed. They get the job DONE. But sometimes, people with strong intellectualizing parts notice that they're pretty cut-off from their emotions. They may find it hard to identify the feelings and emotions that they're experiencing in the moment or feel cut off from the physical sensations of emotions in their bodies. Sometimes, these clients also have a hard time sharing their feelings aloud to their loved ones. When loved ones ask them to be more emotionally vulnerable, certain defense mechanisms can trigger: like shutting down and dissociating, avoiding the issue, pretending things are fine, or feeling angry toward the other person and lashing out with harsh words. 

If this sounds like you, we’re here to help. We take a gentle and calm approach to help you re-connect to your emotions in a way that feels safe. We help you learn why those emotions feel cut-off. We help you understand your patterns of avoidance, dissociation, and pushing away. We help you identify your priorities – in work and at home – and make subtle shifts to your life that align with those values. ​

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Identity: ​

You’re great at what you do. The thing is, you’re also more than just what you do.  That’s a big part of the therapy with high-achieving professionals: helping you get to know yourself beyond the professional identity. And don't worry: we know how important that professional identity is to you (and maybe to your loved ones too), and it's not going anywhere. But with a therapist at Will Psychology, you can spend some time getting to know all the parts of you - beyond your identity as a manager, lawyer, CFO, or boss - and identifying all your most important values. And then, if you want to, we can discuss how to live your life in a way that honors and aligns with those values. Maybe you want to carve out more time for family, for exercise, for vacations, for joy, for spontaneity, and for relaxation. Maybe you want help asking that inner taskmaster to take a backseat when you're home with your family. We help you keep that career you love while also feeling like your life is more balanced. 

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Inner critics and perfectionistic parts:

Many clients come to us saying they are exhausted by their very vocal and mean inner critics. That inner voice that says, “You have to be the best, or else you're a failure!” or "No one will love you if you don't succeed." Our clients have tried very hard to push the critic away by reminding themselves of their accomplishments (but those critics tend to say: "But you can do better!"). Or they start to agree with the inner critics and perfectionists, which leads to rigid and unachievable expectations for themselves and feelings of sadness and shame when they fall short of those expectations. And often, regardless of how they handle the critic in the moment, the critic comes back even louder the next day. 

What if we tried a different approach? Instead of fighting with your critic, our therapists help you approach this part of yourself with warm, open curiosity. When we shift into curiosity and compassion, we often learn that the critic is trying to protect us: from embarrassment, or rejection, or failure. And here’s the thing: when we can really, truly understand what the critic is trying to tell us, we can help it learn to relax. We can help our anxious parts see that we – our highest, wisest Self – can handle each situation that life throws our way.  We can embrace our imperfections in a way that still honors the important drive to be the best versions of ourselves. We can learn how to have faith in ourselves again, and how to love ourselves exactly as we are, day by day.